Thanks Daphne for your insight. I am right now on stress leave and my medication has been doubled and then doubled again. Each Dr that I have seen or counselor says, "You really have a lot on your plate!" I know that! I have to know how to get rid of it. Panic attacks, that leads to depression. I saw a therapist, and had an appointment for the following week at the same time. I went, after having a bad panic attack at work and was sent home, and I wasn't in the computer. I couldn't get in!

I called employee assistance and they set me up with a counselor, I went to her last night, didn't connect with her at all, except that she says "You have a lot on your plate" and "I know how you feel with panic attacks. Handed me some literature and then said she would be gone for 12 days. So I called the original therapist, and I am seeing her tomorrow. I am on at least 2 weeks of stress rest from work. At least she told me to write and pray, the one last night just said, I can tell you I went through a couple of years of hell with panic attacks too.

She also said, your mind and emotions have reached the boiling point and you need help before it starts affecting your BP and kick up your heart arrythmia again. Not like I didn't realize that!!

My Dr is wonderful, he said he would be praying for me and urged me to find a church home. I have not attended regularily for some years. Long story about that! So, anyway that is where I am at. My session did me no good laset night and I am hoping for more tomorrow. The Dr will review in 2 weeks if I am balanced out enough to resume working. He will be speaking to my therapist and I have an appt again for next Friday with him.

I am so sorry for rambling on, but really feel that I have no one to talk to. My husband, as much as I love him, does not understand. He is also worried that I will lose my job again. I don't know about that either, and that does tend to increase stress and tension between us.

So friends, think of me please and say a little prayer that I will be able to have the time off to get the help that I need and give my medication time to kick in.

Thanks for listening.

Sherri