Lil,

Personally I think you're on the right track with the angry feelings as long as you don't act on them. Anyone in your position would be angry. You've probably been angry for a long time. If it were me, I would have been furious long before now! Emotions won't kill you. Drugs and guns and other weapons can kill you, but emotions make you strong.

Anger is a part of a divorce and not always a bad thing. Even Jesus became angry. The Bible says, "Be angry and sin not." Anger is the fuel you need for the type of battle you are about to enter. Whether you want it or not, there is a battle going on even now and it will become worse before this is over. Gird your loins with anger, stand up tall like the warrior goddess you are, and prepare for battle.

Now's the time to circle the wagons. Instead of fantacizing about physical harm to Raul, use that energy to find a good (meaner than dirt) attorney who will work on contingency and sue Raul's butt!!! Take the house! Take his car. Sue him for all he's worth. Get alimony and take any investments he has. You're not going to starve. You'll be better off than you've ever been with Raul and his other woman for heaven's sake.

The reason Raul is being 'nice' to you and saying he 'doesn't hate you' (of course he doesn't hate you. He has no reason) is that he's trying to work your emotions to avoid what he knows you can do to him in court. He's trying to get you to hate him because the problem with hate is, it only hurts the one who hates and in pain your emotions make you do things that weaken your case against him.

Don't move from the house unless it becomes dangerous to stay. If he leaves, charge him with desertion. If things get really bad, go to a women's shelter. And document everything.

Don't take too many tranquilizers. You need to be vigilant and to use all your anger as fuel for the fight. You're in a position of power in this legal battle and you should use it!!!

It's a dirty game and I've actually never been able to play it myself, but I know a lot of woomen who have and have won.

Right now a strong offense is your best defense. You are not weak. You are strong. You are a powerful woman! So let's hear you ROAR!!

smile

[ January 03, 2004, 03:11 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]