A bachelor, just turned 40, began feeling desperate.
"I went to a singles bar," he told a friend, "walked over
to this 20-year-old woman and asked,'Where have you been all my life?' She said, 'Teething.'"

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To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chic
Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered. "We'll have some Guiseppe Spomdalucci," he said. "Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That's the proprietor."

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First man: "I can't think what to get my wife for Christmas. If I
give her something practical, I know she'll burst into tears.
Second man: "In that case, buy her some handkerchiefs."

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