When he found a six-year-old shoe-repair ticket in the pocket of an old suit, Brown called the shop to see if the shoes were still around.
"Were they black wingtips needing half soles?" asked a clerk.
"Yes," said Brown.
"We'll have them ready in a week."

Sign in store window: "Any faulty merchandise will be cheerfully replaced with merchandise of equal quality."

Once, a man with an alligator walked into a pub and asked the bartender, "Do you serve IRS agents here?"
"Sure do," the barkeep replied.
"Good, give me a beer," said the man. "And my gator'll have an IRS agent."
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https://www.amazon.com/author/bonnie.mill-lemke
https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf