Thanks all for thoughts shared here. I probably got carried away this morning, since things with my Mom have escalated this week, and I guess I had a lot to let out.
It always helps to know that others have been or are in the same boat.
I definitely take time for myself. My husband is a quadraplegic (although a very independent one) and I learned a long time ago that I can't take care of him if I don't take care of myself. Same goes for dealing with my mom.
I know that a lot of the reason my mom is like she is, is because of how her mom was, and so on down the line. Got over the guilt/negative feelings -- for the most part -- a long time ago and know that I am doing the best that I can. I know my Mom loves me -- she just doesn't really know how to show it. I have a good support group of friends (including you ladies) many of whom are going thru issues with their own aging parents. I have an aunt who although she is 85 is still sharp as a tack and has always treated me like I am the smartest most wonderful woman in the world (it never hurt anybody to be treated like that!!) and who I can always count on to give me her honest opinion whether I want to hear it or not. She is my mom's sister-in-law but they've known each other since they were kids. She always tells me my mother has always been the way she is now.
I don't want to get carried away again and write as long a post as I did this morning -- but I did want to say that I do appreciate you all and it sure helps to be able to come here and let out my thoughts and feelings and know I will not be judged.