Edelweiss, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your whole family in this situation.

I remember how I felt when I figured out that my first marriage was not going to be able to be saved, and through recalling those feelings, my heart aches for your son.

I made sure that we had joint custody so that my kids could grow up knowing both parents. But that DID mean I had to pass on a couple of great jobs that would have required me to leave the community we had been living in. To put it mildly, that was very hard.

But, to use the phrase I have recently learned, I knew that I had to "put on my big girl panties" and give up on the out-of-state jobs because my children's OVERALL welfare was SOOO MUCH more important to me than was my short term financial security.

I pray that your DIL figures this out as well.