DJ - you're so right that family members need to be 'in the loop' as far as their parents' care goes - it's not enough to make sure they have caregivers if you live too far away to visit and see things for yourself - you also need to be sure those caregivers are reporting things as they really are. And even if you ARE able to visit your parents or caregive for them yourself, there's too strong a tendency on the doctors' part sometimes to sedate these elderly into submission. It happened to my mom, too. I don't think the doctors are evil, usually, but they're jaded. They see so many elderly patients die that they're not as attuned to each specific patient, and sometimes an outside doctor is your only hope. Good luck with your mom.

Carolyn