You share a son with your ex. This in itself is something good.

Yonuh and others here:

With deep grief and sadness, I share now the bad news that a sister committed suicide. I just returned from flying out to her funeral.

She is the sister 1 yr. younger than I. I have posted a photo in the past here on this forum of her with her family. She leaves 2 adult children (daughter 25 and son, 23) and a loving husband.

She was in deep depression for last few months though she did not disclose it to all family members. She's had bouts ..and was on anti-depressants but refused psychiatric help. I feel so strongly now that had she been advised for psychotherapy, it might be have been a different outcome.

It is very difficult to also see my father grieve and also support his wife, my mother. Just before my sister's death, we found out that my father's prostate cancer is progressing abit more.

I have many thoughts of my sister and also of my parents, who are now more visibly smaller, greyer and weaker.

There are other things going for me personally, which I need to sort out over time.

For her children, they each gave impressive euologies about their mother, considering their grief over the tragic and sudden death of their mother and the stress.

The small solace I take is that I have loved and known my sister for long enough to know the best of her, her potential and what may have troubled her (though no one is completely sure), and also that her children are old enough to appreciate and articulate on their love and appreciation of their mother in a multi-faceted way.

Perhaps yonuh, your son and yourself find what his life did provide, as a starting point. Whereas the other weaknesses can be brought forward for context.

I did not mean to hijack this thread. It is about inner struggle with conflicting questions and feelings over significant family members in our lives.
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