I guess, even if they live close, that still might be too often for him. Your son sounds as if he wants the time with you and hubby well-spent. Not just talk about ordinary stuff, or trivial stuff...to him. I know, it's selfish of him.

In reading all about people's experiences with their adult sons, I reflect back my dearie's relationship with his mother who is no longer alive. When his mother lived in same city as we did and was still mobile, healthy, he visited her once per week or less. Or she phoned him..usually something minor for him to do.

As she became more frail..he biked over and visit her for an hr. or less about 1-3 times per wk. In nursing home, as she became less aware of surroundings and could barely recognize her own son: it dwindled down to once to wk. He found it very difficult to communicate with her since dementia set in.

I would consider this mother-son relationship probably ideal because it was relatively stress-free and mutually caring. She didn't lay down rules how to behave in her household..but there was no need. She personified quiet dignity and gentle temper. Sort of person that children and teenagers don't mind hanging out with.

I have said over and over and over to dearie that it is the imprint of his mother that has had the strongest, positive influence on his personality.

I am glad to have witnessed a very good mother-adult child relationship..'cause I can't say it is/will be like this with my mother. I know the rest of my siblings with their own families, etc., prefer contact with my parents only a few times or less on a monthly basis. They all live in the same city. My parents don't know how to "play" with their grandchildren since none of the grandchildren can speak/understand Chinese. And also because they never "played" with their own children. Instead it's easier for my parents to plunk grandchildren in front of TV or give them a meal at home. It's just reality.

So some of my siblings with children, rely on their in-laws to do some occasional child care or there's more contact.

Not sure how things can be better.