Just speaking from my experiences, it felt like the addiction took away all the 'free will' I had been given. For those 4 horrible, horrible years it felt like my will was gone and the alcohol had taken over and become the 'ruler', leaving me unable to use my free will in any healthy manner. Now I feel like I am using my free will to turn away from that life and get back to the life I had before my years of craziness,