I am so sorry for your pain Eagle...but people like this woman never change...they look for reasons to hate people..and when they think they have found a reason they cling to it for dear life...My husband 's older brother's wife is the same way...she was awful to my in laws for 40 years before they passed...and I am talking about 2 of the sweetest people to ever grace this earth...she denied them access to their grandchildren for years and even refused to go to my FIL's funeral...which was so embarrassing for my poor brother in law. I know he carries so much guilt over his parents and how she treated them...and now he has to live with it because they are gone...if your stepson won't answer the phone then your husband should write him a letter and send it to his workplace ...maybe your stepson could bring the children to a place where you could just happen to run into them and perhaps share a meal without the awful wife present...I feel so sorry for you my friend...but unless your stepson stands up to her (which sounds doubtful) you may have to wait until the kids are old enough to make up their own minds to see you..it's a sad situation...but even sadder, it's not uncommon...I have heard this story too often....Hang in my Friend...