Thank you MA, Edelweiss and Ellemm. It's so true that we often allow relatives to fling their toxicity at us simply because they're related...or because there are precious children involved - and why, I constantly ask myself, do these people insist on using their children as pawns to get their own way or to justify their toxic behaviour. Our relationship with the grandchildren is constantly at the mercy and whim of someone who enjoys holding that power and control over us. The only reason we tolerate it is to keep the door open to see the children.

Ellemm, your post was so helpful, especially in helping me to step back and get perspective. Why do I allow my mental well-being to be held hostage by all of this? I need to step back, take a deep breath and let it all go for now. There just isn't anything I can do right now, and why bang my head against the brick wall for things I cannot change (back to that Serenity Prayer again!).

I need to just shrug my shoulders against it all, turn away from the toxicity of not only the people but the angst I'm allowing myself to feel about it all, and focus on the light and love that IS around...hubby, nature, here. Sigh. I wish it didn't have to be a case of shrugging all these vital people off, but it might be the best way through at this stage of it all.