I feel sorry for your losses, Eagle. I can so relate to difficult relatives. Unfortunately, most of mine are so difficult that I'd rather not get involved with them at all. I have learned over the years to answer calmly but to keep my distance. The difference with you, of course, is that you had the closeness and it has been taken away, so that really hurts and I'll be thinking of you.

For people who like to talk about how wonderful family is: I have precisely one decent, non-mentally ill relative, and yes, I cherish him. Ok, I lied: my uncle is great to talk to and I do appreciate his kindness and connections. That's it. All the rest of them, on both my husband's family and mine, are bananas. Right now I'm slightly freaking out because my SIL might be planning to come visit us and it's a completely crazy story, as usual. I'm just weary of the bizarre e-mails and strange phone calls. I have had enough character building on this score and would like a break from these people. Fortunately, we almost never see them.

I'm sure that sounds awful but it's just the truth. Eagle, I hope you get to see your grandchildren soon and that your friend recovers. The wedding? Forget about it; not your fault.