Chatty, this has been going on for quite some time, so of course it is wearing on you. You have an authentic self that is not what he is placing upon you. You are better off taking in stray animals than that stray ex. He is toxic to your spiritual self. How can you have personal growth when he is creating the environment of toxicity? You are so important. You are losing your time on earth to him. You, you you dear know this. I know you know. Yes, haul his sorry a** to the YMCA. Free your self, your inner self. xxoo Lynn