MA, that book sounds heartwrenching. I do indeed identify with the idea that the loss has to be accommodated. The journey through grief for me has been exactly that, learning how to co-exist with the holes in my life, how to fit my new reality around the losses.

For me it wasn't just Gary. The loss of both parents, Gary, so many beloved in-laws (hubby lost 4 siblings and 2 much-loved cousins within that same timespan) and the rest of my own family due to other circumstances...my entire world fell apart in too short of a time to cope graciously with. Hubby and I figured out that between the two of us we lost 16 significant family members within 9 years...that doesn't include the excruciating situation within my own family after Gary died, which may end up being irreparable.

Yes, it takes hard work and and heart-wrenching journey through "the madness of grief" just to learn how to accommodate all the losses and learn to live beyond the agony-of-absence.

I think I've turned the corner on that journey and can see more light than darkness now. I think (and there are some here who might heartily agree) that I swam in some murky madness of my own at times, but thank God for the love and compassion of so many here...that love became my ladder out of that madness and back onto solid ground.

Thank you, MA, for your constant love and care. I love hearing your wise voice whispering peace and courage into my the ears of my heart. I hear you!