It seems that there's a lesson God is trying to teach me, perhaps something about humility...it seems that for my entire life I've had to beg to be heard...but the irony is that once you beg for any gift, it's no longer a gift, is it? Begging someone to listen is somewhat paradoxical because once you've begged for it, there's always the nagging question of whether it's freely given or obligation, so then it's no longer the gift you were really yearning for. What I really yearn for and have yearned for my entire life is to be heard without having to ask for it. I can't help but see the spiritual implications of that. Some would say that being pure Love, He yearns for nothing...and that to imply that He does is to paint Him in the colours of our own human neediness and imperfections. And yet, I have to wonder if He too enjoys being listened to without having to ask for it.

My pride has taken a beating here, because this has probably come across as yet again begging to be heard and it wasn't my conscious intent to display my neediness for all to witness. I can hear Jesus chuckling in the distance. He's clearly not finished with me yet, is He...I suppose that's a good sign.