"The blurs in our memory are often clues to silence and secrets."

I agree that what is not discussed openly can be a source of hurt/pain and our wonderful brain does not delve there.

In the film "Secrets and Lies" which I viewed along with women at a University summer school the Mother is surprised to find her baby who was given up for adoption at birth was black...the child now grown traces the mother and then the story unfolds

...this triggered many reactions from the class....and due to the content of the whole course counsellors were on hand...

Joharis Window where some of who and what we are is totally unknown to us comes to mind..