Kate, this isn't about what your ex does or doesn't do for her right now. It's not about what you do for her either. It's about her living with him because he has no boundaries. It's not you, it's your boundaries, which are totally right, by the way. Try not to take it personally; easier said than lived.

Here's a tactic, we haven't approached. What if you back off, but when she calls you or stops by, be there for her with love? Do you call her much? I know you email. Maybe if you back off for a bit, she'll come running.

What do you ladies think?

When my daughter and I butt heads, I have to back off because if I don't, it escalates. She deifintely needs her space to think things through. Maybe your daughter is the same...

I know you've given her space by letting her move out, but try giving her space without communication for a bit.

Maybe?

And do something nice for yourself today. You deserve it. Get lost in a good book with a bag of chocolate in your other hand.