I agree with you Jabber and mine is no exception, I know. The difference with me is that I just wasn't allowed to be me. I wasn't given any freedom to make decisions without his "permission". He took control over EVERYTHING! Oh, I was allowed to bring up the children (more or less on my own) and him, but the "couple" part of our marriage disappeared with his selfishness. A marriage isn't supposed to be that way. There should be respect for each other's opinion, and I never had that. Sometimes it felt as if he was digging my grave. Slowly but surely, I was dying inside because of his behavior. He took away my spirit and I need to get it back. Not only for my sake, but for my son's. He is floundering at the minute and it breaks my heart. My husband has "left" his well being to me,(another sign that he's never been "into" the children) but I need to help myself first in order to help him. And, although I probably shouldn't say this, but I would do anything for my children!