You could be right about your friendship theory. Ross and I knew one another before dating. He was my brother's friend so we knew a lot about one another before dating, became best friends and got married. We've remained best friends for 28 years of marriage. Woohoo.

Your posts may be making your situation clearer for you. The fact that the only thing that scares you is telling him, makes me realize that it's soemthing you can get behindyo as soon as you spill your guts. If you were afraid of living alone or making it on your own, that's a different story. Also, the fact that you are a happy girl when he isn't around is also very telling.

Hang in there. One day at a time. I'm sure your path will be made clearer with each passing day.