Expat,

Welcome to BWS! It is a wonderful place to come, share, and get support. This group has carried me through my divorce and rebuiding my life after the divorce.

Forgive me if anything I say is "out of turn"....I am just going on my interpretaion of what you've said.

My #1 concern is that his "efforts to change", are really an "effort to keep you in his control".

He sounds to me to be subtly abusive and manipulative. (been there, done that, didn't realize it until I was OUT FROM UNDER my ex).

If this is the case (or a possibility)...I would encourage you to get support for yourself through a counselor or a support group (co-dependent group, etc).

Divorce is hard on everyone. If you decide to go that route - I would be happy to share some "I wish I had known" type things with you!

Expat -- Keep coming back and sharing. You can't share too much here - we all have poured out our hearts at one time or another.

Hugs,

Danita