This is the loneliest Christmas Eve I've ever experienced. Hubby went to bed before 9 (he missed his nap this afternoon and couldn't keep his eyes open, poor thing). The house is clean, everything's as ready for tomorrow as it can be at this point. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, just quietened by the drastic changes in our lives over the past two years that have brought me to this lonely Christmas Eve. Our house used to be full of laughter and music and normally we would all be around the table playing card games.

It's temporary. By 2pm tomorrow afternoon, the house will laugh again, this time with the joy of grandchildren.

A few moments of profound loneliness...I just needed somewhere to come and not be alone tonight.