Thanks guys..I guess that I am doing better..I am sort of slowly realizing there is alot to this having more time to do what I want to do..and more time for my partner,too. I can still listen to his music..the songs he recorded himself and the music he has on his computer..and then I can cry buckets..but I know in my heart of hearts that this is best for both of us.

I asked him the other day what made him decide to study in the US..on the spurr of the moment. And he answered..it was all of these things and none of them: he was afraid of staying in Sweden and not finding a job..and then just sitting at home..he wanted to get out on his own..do his own thing..and start leading his own life..he wanted to have new experiences and see new places..he didn´t want people telling him what to do or how he should think..etc etc.

This all makes sense to me..and somehow I knew that this was what is was all about. He has a big brother and sister living in Sweden here..and his sister has 3 kids..and she´s a single mom. I think he felt like a spider in a net..not in a bad way..but anyway..he needed to BREAK FREE..like that GREAT SONG by Queen goes..I WANT TO BREAK FREE..I absolutley LOVE that song..and so does he.. I broke free many years ago..and now he is doing the same thing.

But I miss him..who am I kidding..I miss him so much!!! And the lump in my throat grows..AGAIN!!! But I DO understand!!!