My very dear sister Ronnie died in March 2004 on the date which would have celebrated beloved sister Ellie's birthday, had she herself not suddenly died at age 46 in 1998. Ronnie was buried on MY 54th birthday....Jeepers. Talk about going from birthday candles on cakes to memorial candles in church!....Today is New Years Day 2006 and I'm still here, spreading the gospel of survival one-day-at-a-time. Well, that's not entirely true. Part of me is really someplace else. With Ronnie, Ellie, my angel-brother "Cuddy" who died when I was young, and my parents, along with all those in my small family who have gone on to "a better place."....Just before Christmas, hubby and I filled the car up with homemade wreaths and delivered them to the cemetery, one for each of my favorite people. Well, that's not entirely true either. Dad was SUCH an alcoholic who made our lives miserable at times, and mom was a raging dysfunctional, whose antics left me as scarred as "Eve" in "Three Faces of Eve." ....I cried the hardest when placing Ronnie & Ellie's wreath. Hey you guys! Why aren't we wrapping each other's presents? Where are you??? I need you HERE! We are supposed to be aging boomers TOGETHER!!!.....Last night at midnight of this very new year, there was no one to phone. And God bless his recovering heart, Dick Clark for the first time looked & sounded OLD. Has the world gone positively mad??? Dear hubby was next to me, poor thing, viral and asleep. Grown son & girlfriend were safely tucked away in his apartment; we had exchanged "best wishes" earlier......They say the glass is half empty or half full, depending on which part you are concentrating on. I try to focus on "half full," remembering the good times, appreciating the family & friends who are left, brightening the lives of others who seem worse off...This loser-husband of a girl I know, ran off with another woman just before Christmas, leaving the young woman with 2 small children and penniless to boot. That heartbreak happened to me once, but not at Christmas, so I made like the Christmas Angel and bought as many gifts for them as my budget would allow. God bless you Ronnie & Ellie for helping me to be an Angel like you two!....Over the next couple of months, up comes another round of birthdays & holidays, and kaleidoscope memories with varying shades of light & dark.... It's time to fill that glass again. Hey Ronnie! Hey Ellie! Do you have a bottle opener?????