yepthatsme2 you are so right, some of us are a mess from time to time.

That's life Di. No one tells us it will always be perfect. Some of us think it is until an event happens that shatters that notion. Sometimes we bring it on ourselves but many times "stuff" just happens. I think we need to give ourselves a break and try to forget our past transgressions and just forget about the past period. The sooner we can get away from thinking about the past the better we will feel emotionally.
Our male friend is a great guy who never got married. I'm not sure why. I personally think he had unrealistic expectations of what his ideal woman should be. When we visit him in the home he grew up in it's very depressing. It's like stepping back into the past. He lives like a pack rat and refuses to throw out anything even if it's a meaningless piece of paper his now-deceased brother owned. His past defines him and who he is now. He does have friends and a niece who has sons and their families. You can see by how he keeps himself and his home (both very unkempt)that he may be dealing with depression and not even knowing it. He keeps his Christmas tree up until February and has recorded some old Christmas radio programs from the 40's and 50's. He's almost 70. This is a person who continually looks back and lives in his past.

I never say anything to him about it because I believe in his mind it keeps his loved ones near even though they are all gone. I don't think it's a healthy way to live emotionally but it's the way he chooses to be.

As you say, let us look ahead to fresh ideas and never say never.