Di,

It's sounds like you have an excellent grasp on the things you want to improve in your life and are heading in the direction of doing just that. I went through a time a few years ago of learning to let go of things from my past that were getting in the way of my being the best person I could be now. It's a long, hard journy, but one you can and will accomplish once you set your mind to it and seek out the means to accomplish it.

I don't quite understand your "no meds for me" statement, though. I never thought I would need medication for depression, but I do. And understand and accepting that has been a big help to me. There's no shame in taking antidepressents. I wouldn't stop taking my blood pressure meds, either.

I know there a lot of people that may not agree with me, but I need to do what's best for myself.