Di, it's so complex, trying to figure out that aching hole that gnaws from so deep inside. I've had it for as long as I can remember, and it has made me so needy in the past that one therapist felt it necessary to teach me how to "budget my hunger" so that no one person would ever bear the brunt of it. It was a valuable lesson, except that it never did help me to figure out how to fill that hole. I think now after all I've tried to do to assuage the hunger, that it's a hole that should have been filled by a mother's love; I always hope and pray that someday I'll cross that elusive faith threshold where God's love will be enough.

I agree with Dianne, though, that at some point it becomes essential to recognize that gnawing hunger as my reality and learn to live (and love) around it, not letting it control my life and behaviours. It's kind of painful at times, trying to find other outlets to fill that spot without coming across as hungry and needy. God is a huge part of that search, hubby does what he can and my Boomer sisters, friends and family make it possible to live beyond that nagging sense of incompleteness.