When I was writing my book I was careful to not place ly adverbs all over the place. My college writing instructor told me it was poor writing. He said that it is best to write a book in a way that gets the feelings across without using them much. I edited and rewrote for my two agents, one was Eleanor Freide. She's the brilliant woman who discovered Richard Bach of Jonathon Livingston Seagul fame. After I rewrote for Eleanor, I rewrote for the agent working with her, Barbara Bowen. They helped me cut out the junk and focus the story better. Eleanor is a legend in the publishing world. Eleanor told me the book was good as it was, so the publisher wouldn't require it to be rewritten. Wrong. There were somethings she insisted on. I had to interview one of the families of the people who died. I should have stood my ground and refused. It opened their pain all over again. And the problem was they didn't remember enough about what happened in the first five years after the murders. So I had to extrapolate. I shouldn't have done that. I let it slip about something else that had happened later, a visit to the parole board by my family and I, a couple of years after my brother was sentenced. The publisher insisted that I put that in, even though to reveal what I did put me and my family in danger. I shouldn't have caved to her. But once she knew about it, had I not written that part, she would have written it in in her own words, when I'd only told them a couple sentences about what happened. What uspet me the most was at the end of the book, I had written a little on each of the people on the other side of the murders, what they were doing now and how wonderful the one family was. The publisher watered it down so it was not the tribute to the beauty of their souls that I wanted. She insisted I use a real name. I had changed every one else's for their protection. She said she had to have real person. My last name is hyphenated. She didn't care that I used my husband's part of the name. But to me that's not my real name, my real name is hyphenated. And I was afraid someone would be able to find my mother that way. When I asked Mom is she minded if I write the story, she said, "It's okay if you think if will help somebody. Just don't let them find me."

Then when it came to touring I did two talk shows. When I refused to allow Dateline NBC to interview my mom, the publisher dropped the promotion. Publishers can be very cold. They knew ahead of time what I was and was not willing to do.

Oh, and the publisher reworded a lot of stuff. It annoyed me big time. I wrote this book from 1981 to 1993 when it was published. I didn't need her to "add her magic" and alter the soul of the book.

She made more changes after I got the galley, but I never read it again. I was so annoyed.

I've been told by my family members, the few who read it, that I did a good job. It was better after I rewrote it for Barbara and Eleanor and worse after the publisher was through with it. I have the rights back now, finally as of this year. I've considered finding a publisher and putting it out in paperback. But at this point I've decided against it...could change my mind in the future. I kept the wound open for 12 years to write, I'd rather not open it again.

Thanks for your support, Dianne, Ladybug and Searcher.

And Dianne, thanks for asking about the book.

[ December 14, 2005, 08:54 PM: Message edited by: Vi ]