while in the current affairs/rosa parks forum, i wrote about an incident where my dad taught a treasured lesson about racism. we lost Dad a year ago to his long-time battle with post-polio syndrome and other health issues. i wrote the following tribute to him shortly after his funeral. I also had the privilege of co-writing his obituary with Mom and a sister:

Thank You, Dad!

I grieve today for my beautiful daughter, Melissa, as I have for the last ten years. I also grieve today for my Dad, the man who taught me so much about the journey. Dad recently left us to be with Melissa and his Lord.

Dad and Mom have been ever near me, sharing my sorrow and tears since Melissa died. Their prayers have kept me close to Jesus when my own were too angry to say. They have shared their memories of time spent with Melissa, letting me know how precious she was to them, too. Just as they did when I was a child, they have continued to let me know that they love me and accept me, however much my loss has changed me.

As a child, Dad lost his own father, and then was stricken with polio. He grew up during the great depression. In spite of these early challenges, bitterness and self pity never became a part of his life. The youngest child of a loving family, he was encircled by their love and affection, principles and faith.

Dad married his neighbor girl and together they continued the traditions begun so early in their own lives. They provided my siblings and me with stability, faith, humor, fun, and fortitude.

Dad never considered himself handicapped. He never whined or complained about the physical weakness caused by polio that continued to afflict him until he died. And Mom taught us, in her own subtle way, to help and support him without making it an issue. Together, they raised a family, developed and ran two businesses and then retired with a sense of accomplishment and joy in each other. I will forever be filled with gratitude to Dad and Mom for their example of courage and true grit in the face of life’s challenges and for the ability to find joy as they embraced it all.

Melissa’s death has ravaged my soul and torn at the very core of my being. I am forever changed and I am forever the same. How I perceive the elements of my life is different than it was before. How I cope with those differences will never change. I will continue to do my best to live up to the example of faith and courage set by my dad – always the victor, never the victim.

Dad’s arms held me as I stood at Melissa’s grave the day she was buried. On October 11, 2004, his arms held her as I stood at his grave. The spark in his eye, the wisdom in his words and his joy in a life well lived will bless me until I am in his arms again.

Thank you, Dad! I love you and miss you.
jo