Gims...you have not offended me...I am posting because I get different views and that's what I need...dialogue is a two-way-street and I value your opinion even though it differs from mine.
Let me state what I know about. Larry was raised by a Mother who continues to be a doormat to two of her children (in their 40's). Larry, as sweet as he is, is also a doormat when it comes to his children. Part of his children's problem is that he allowed them to walk all over him and remained silent instead of speaking up...Larry's children's Mother was and is a dominating woman in every sense of the word. She did not teach her children to value their father (so I shouldn't be surprised that they still don't)...all she saw Larry for was a means for her to spend, spend, spend. Her needs came first and from what I hear from Larry's sister and mom, she would berate him, hit him on occasion and humiliate him...Larry would remain silent through most of it because he was raised by a Mother who taught him to be submissive and nonconfrontational. Larry's wife walked out on him after 24 years of marriage for a much younger guy she met in a chat room (that didn't last once the guy found out she didn't have any money)...she dragged D and LW with her (they were teenages) and Larry kept G. D (his daughter) eventually tried living on her own but, like her mom, can't control spending. When I met Larry, D had been living with him for 3 years (she was 25)...he didn't require her to pay for anything...again, she did what she wanted, when she wanted. LW continued living with his Mother and bought his own home...his mom stayed with him and because they both are unable to control spending, LW lost his house, truck, and went into bankruptcy. LW went into the navy because he really didn't have anywhere else to go...when her son went into the Navy she moved down here to Mobile and moved in on her daughter in her 1-bedroom apartment. After a year and a half LW gets out of active duty and because he hasn't saved his money, he also moves in with his sister and Mother in the one-bedroom apartment.
From the time I met larry's ex, she has berated him and trashed him...she even tried to bulldoze her way into my home and I put a stop to that and her slamming my husband around me.
I think a lot of this stems from me. Because I've come along and his kids are not allowed to bully him the way they could before. Every word that spews from their Mother's mouth is hateful and spiteful about Larry...how he was a bad father, how he didn't love them, on and on and on. Despite the fact that he's loving and kind and would give his kids the last shirt off his back...doesn't mean anything. They're choosing to be like their Mother when it comes to him.
In my view, larry has done nothing to deserve this. Larry did, however, help create this behavior from his kids because he did not step up and give tough love when it was needed...perhaps that's why he isn't now...he doesn't know how. Even now Larry would let the kids walk all over him if I didn't run interference when I catch it. They've backed off for the most part and perhaps this ignoring of their dad is because they know it bothers me...I called them last year to remind them...LW ignored the request, D did not call but sent an ecard...G called. This year Larry asked me not to remind his kids and see if they would do anything on their own...you now know the story. He's pretty crushed.
I just find it ironic that the two who totaly ignored him yesterday are still under mommie's roof and influence. Birds of a feather....
I realize nothing I say will ever matter to these kids...even though my intentions are to get them to see that they have a Father whose feelings should matter to them, they will choose to ignore anything I say because I'm the outsider. So, the only recourse I have is to make sure that Larry doesn't spend one hard-earned dime on kids who are ungrateful and show no love for him when it matters.