The graduation festivities have barely faded..balloons are still hanging in my little apartment..the Swedish flag is still displayed inside and outdoors..only a week ago I was creaking under all the parties held here all week..hoping the neighbors or I won´t go crazy..and now the computer in the kitchen with the accompanying music has disappeared. The mess is partially gone..

My 18 yr old has his own little place on the otherside of town..thanks to his older brother..and he has a job..also thanks to his brother.

All this is so right..so unexpected..so why am I drinking vodka drinks like there was no tomorrow and crying into my glass? I guess that I am doing what all mothers do..he is my last of 5..my baby..the one I had really connected with these last few years. He towers over us all with his smile..joy to be alive and his interest and love for his friends and people in general. He has taken his laughter, energy and zest for life..his light..and moved it away. And all is well..I KNOW..so it should be!

Guys..this ain´t easy. The emptying of the nest is ranked as one of the top 10 crises in life..and now I am reminded again why. UFFFFFF!!!!!!!

I know that this is actually a happy story..unbelievably so..for both my son and myself. I KNOW. So where is the old crone now?

I am taking the first steps toward finding her again by listening to Metallica..and getting some heavy testerone mixed in with my female hormones (if I have any left at 60). But it´s tough, ladies. As many of you know.

He and I sat quietly on our veranda yesterday before driving him and his stuff to his new place. And we silently said so much to eachother..and it was ok to cry..for both of us. OOOO such memories! When and if he comes back..it will not be the same..he will have moved on..and hopefully..me,too. An era of children..and it has been a mighty era of nearly 40 years has come to an end. Of course..putting it like that..it´s no wonder that I am going crazy with emotion. Right? I mean it´s 2/3´s of my earthly life at this point.

And I am soooo happy for him..and proud of him! And I do have a partner that is looking forward to some private time with me..so what am I whining about?????