Thankyou Edelweiss for those thoughts. And Dottie, that is a great idea. Try to find what I miss in my home, elsewhere.
This is timely because I just came from there since I like to walk after work and that is my favorite place to walk. The house is on about 4 acres of land which consists of small hills, open field, and woods. Since it is private property no one bothers me there. My husband works late so is not at home when I get out of work. I have tried to walk on the roads which many people do around here but I dislike the many cars and people seeing me (I am quite private). I have tried walking at local parks but have not found one I care for, plus there are usually people there. So what I miss about my other house is the quietness and solitude of the place - in the country with no neigbors. I went inside the house while I was there and loved the spaciousness and open floor plan and cathedral ceilings, even if the remodeling remains unfinished. So that is another thing I miss - a nice spacious big house. But the problem is a real one. I can't afford a house like that on my own with a single income. I can afford a small ranch which I live in. Maybe it was a mistake buying this house but I knew I could resell it fairly quickly if need be as it is in a desirable suburban neighborhood, so I won't lose money. But even if I sell it, I won't be able to buy what I want. I guess that's one of the realities that come with divorce. One income.

And while I was in the house, I saw something that saddened me and probably shouldn't since it has been a year and a half we have not been together - a notation on his calendar for "dinner with Cheryl on her birthday" for Thursday......
I shouldn't feel sad because I myself have had dinner with Paul and dinner with Drew! But I guess I know that when my husband, who never cheated and was very loyal, makes a date like that, it means something. What do I expect - I left him, abandoned in legal terms....... No matter, it still doesn't feel very good....