Cubby, you found the right place to vent, get some good advice, and just find sympathetic listeners.

After reading your post, my first thought was; why would she want to go back? You have your own home and you have established yourself. That’s great. Do you want to go back because you’re lonely? Is it because you feel sorry for your husband? Is it because you believe he has really changed and will stay that way?

A good friend of mine left her husband. After two years of his wooing and begging, she returned to him. It took him only three months to fall into his old habits. Her days were filled with regrets and beating on herself. She finally got up the mum to leave her husband again, when he got a stroke. He was helpless without her, and she ended up having to nurse him till he died. But during that time she hated her life, and became depressive. Now that she is a widow, she says she is too old
and emotionally drained to start up a relationship with anyone else. She says she missed her boat.

Now I’m not saying this has to be your life. What I’m saying is, if you go back…make sure you are positive it is what you really want, and not what your hubby wants.

What is rushing you? I think MustangGal’s suggestion is a good one. Just date, but keep separate addresses. It gives you time to decide, and who cares if it takes a year or 10 years. You control your life. Don’t let anyone control it for you.