Welcome, Cubby. I can so relate to what you are saying about your hubby. My ex was much the same in that he was controlling by being distant or by ignoring me, which was behavior I finally decided wasn't going to continue. We divorced after 25 years. It was hard but the best thing I ever did. We divorced in '93. Two years later, I met a wonderful man, and we have been together ever since. We are not compatible in everything, but he does what he likes, I do what I like, and we have things we do together.

You are the only one to decide what is best for you, and you have to decide what is best for you. I think that as boomer women, we have been raised to put everyone else first, and that isn't good for anyone. If we don't take care of ourselves first, how can we have the strength and energy to take care of anyone else??

So whatever you decide, we sisters are here for you.
Well-behaved women rarely make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich