EW..I have a thought too..I think that the experience that someone touches you on parts of yourself that are very basically and naturally PRIVATE puts you into a state of shock. You are made mute..because you totally shutdown..physically, emotionally and mentally..to protect yourself. Your body does this instinctively. And your "reptilian part of the brain" takes over..you act totally on instinct. This happens when you get something in your eye..you instinctively blink many times and your tears start to run..to protect your eye. Or you see a ball coming your way..destined to hit your stomach..you automatically cover your tummy with your hands to protect it. The rest of your brain shuts down so as to make your instinctive actions even faster..because the thinking part of our brain makes us react more slowly. This would explain why you didn´t think of asking your mom for help..everything shutdown..you were acting on your animal level only. These processes have become known now thru brain research..and are very interesting.

Then even many moments after or years..you still cannot talk about it..because it has to do with so very private places within your body and therefore, your soul/spirit. I think, as Princess does, that probably the f...... guilt thing comes into it,too.. and your own uneasiness and fear when remembering..and perhaps also the worry of what feelings you could have awakened in your mother. I mean, it´s not easy to talk about these things..ever. And trying to understand why he did what he did when he did it..isn´t easy either. Kinda making sense out of the whole thing..isn´t easy..

I am not trying to make your experience bigger than it is for you..but just putting my 2 cents worth in...