i know that the real me is hiding someplace within the skin that others recognize. my knee hurts constantly, my feet take turns. my brain is in a fog and my memory is a goner. and this is good compared to a year ago! and fat, fat, fat! i envision reaching to my neck, grasping the zipper pull and opening up the shell i'm in, allowing the real me to step out into the light. no pains in the joints, reading without glasses, running, jumping and living without pain.

yeah, right!