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Eagleheart..I am having a tough day..but I am still writing to you in the gratitude journal thread..because I want to thank you for your post..and MountainAsh..for the watering your garden first story/thought. Without expounding here on what´s going on..I just want to say that your posts gave me the beginning of a way to turn my thoughts to something positive. At least turn them in that direction..

Eagleheart..you have direct contact with God/your Source!!! I am overwhelmed at the contact you have with yourself..meaning your self!!! However do you do it??? Are you, in other words, finding your answers within your self? Is someone guiding you? Or are you your own guide? My goodness what a blessing..and how incredibly far you have come!!!!And you are living proof that it can be done..

What a treasure you are. And what a treasure you have!



Humlan, I haven`t been able to respond before now, and in fact, may have to cut this short (BIL wants me to shut his computer down because of a storm outside). But I wanted to just let you know that I`ve been here reading, keeping in touch, just not able to respond.

I don`t know how to explain this spiritual connection - and I hope I can do so without coming across as proselytizing! It`s just always been there. I`ve had amazing dreams and a heart-relationship with God ever since I can remember. I`ve abandoned Him in hurt and anger many times because I thought He had abandoned and betrayed me. But somewhere along the way I realized that I simply love Him, not for what He does, not for what He can give me, but simply because He is; He is and always has been my best friend and companion-along-every-way.

My only ``secret`` is to sit still long enough to hear, and to keep the eyes and ears of my faith open, because I`ve learned that He loves us so much that He uses EVERY possible means to reach us - music, nature, others, books, and that quiet essence that exists deep inside of oneself. I take whatever speaks light, love, hope and mercy and use those as my road markers. I`ve learned that ANYTHING that diminishes or debilitates me in any way, shape or form is toxic and false and does not come from God.

I have also learned that it`s okay to ask God questions - in my experience, He always answers, though it`s not always what I want to hear. Those are the times when I`m apt to close my ears and wait for a different answer rather than accept the one He`s giving - which then leaves me to despair over His silence, when in fact, He`s rarely silent - I just sometimes close my mind to what He`s trying to say.

The other thing I`ve learned is that He has a WONDERFUL sense of humour and loves to use it! Again, it involves faith, keeping the eyes and ears of one`s faith open to believing that He really does want to be an intimate part of our lives and finds unexpected ways to touch us.

I love hearing His voice speak through my fears; I love feeling His presence in the middle of a long, lonely night; I especially love it when He makes me laugh. And I love just nestling into Him when life gets too overwhelming - it`s how I`ve survived so much despair. Now I can feel Him healing that place so deep within me that I`ve never been able to reach or touch before. I can feel the change - a wonderful, powerful healing is happening, but in order to be a full participant in that healing, I have to make time to just sit still and listen - and be willing to hear what`s being spoken into that silence, and to believe that it`s Him. The way I know that I`m heading in the right direction is when the words bring the strength to continue, the light to see my way through - and a love that breaks through my mangled thinking and empowers me to believe that all things are possible.

Humlan, it`s in every one of us. We are ALL beloved and have a unique niche. And we all have that still, silent, sacred space deep within ourselves where we can sit and listen and know that all things are possible.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)