Hi Ladies,

I wanted to give an update and I actually saved the last two responses in my email. So I will answer those comments first. I copied and pasted the quotes.

Quote:

Mustang Gal

Cathi, I'm praying for ya'll. Glad doc and therapist are in your favor. Will the guardian ad litem prepare a report and/or recommendation? I wonder (and I apologize if I offend) if the father's mother wants custody in an effort to make up for her inability as a parent? I ask b/c I've seen this occur - a kind of second chance, which most often leads to control issues.



Quote:

Dotsie

Mustang, I also feel like the mother is a control freak, trying to get her way come hell or high water. Sorry, but that's how she comes across. What a shame. It's not about her. It's about what's best for the baby.

As I post, I lift up prayers for all the goigns on in Blacksburg this weekend



Unfortunately, the Guardian ad Litem and their lawyer and our lawyer didn’t come to an agreement on time. So we went to Blacksburg the weekend of Mar 28-30 and had Zoey with us only for that weekend. She had grown so much and Sofia was pretty depressed because she is missing out on so much. We are back in Chesapeake until this Friday Apr 11. We will be able to take Zoey back with us as a result of the letter her Dr. and therapist wrote. They expressed in that letter that Sofia does not have mental problem, but is depressed because of what happened to her. In other words, documenting the fact that those people manipulated her. In that letter they also expressed the need for her to bond with Zoey and they want to evaluate Zoey as well. They are also certified in child psychiatry/psychology, including infants. The guardian will only allow a week and not two weeks.

As for the mother being a control freak. Mustang, you did not offend at all, in fact, I am so glad you all see this. I found out this past week that even the guardian sees this. I had already noticed that since August. All of a sudden, the dad, his mom, and sister turned on Sofia after it was discovered she was pregnant. Just by some of the actions and conversations, I could tell what this woman’s intentions were. But I couldn’t say anything because I didn’t want them to know I was on to them. If they had any clue that I was on to them, they would’ve gone out of their way to hide their actions and I had to act covertly. I couldn’t tell Sofia because she still had the hope this boy would come around and she kept getting angry at me and running to them when she would get angry at us.

Finally, when Sofia came home for Thanksgiving, her dad and I talked to her. We begged her to come back home and have the baby. We told her of our suspicions, and warned her that this woman is a bully and will do whatever it takes to take the baby away. Sofia only became more upset with us. Then when we went to Blacksburg when Zoey was born, we saw this woman trying to manipulate her. Once again, we begged her to come back with us with the baby. We told her this woman was mentally abusing her and we pointed some things out. It wasn’t that Sofia didn’t believe us, but somehow, she felt this loyalty. Plus, she had an apartment set up for her and Zoey. That’s the feeling I got anyway.

Now, this woman is trying to act all nice to us when we are there. She even told Sofia that she never intended to take Zoey away from her. She only wanted to help Sofia with her mental health. Okay, and I was born yesterday! I didn’t know she studied medicine!?! I just went along, because I don’t want to raise any red flags with this woman. But after we left the first time, I told Sofia not to fall for what she said. I told her if this was true, then this woman wouldn’t have gotten pissed off when Child Protective Services said it was okay for Sofia to have Zoey with her as long as Richard and/or I were with her. This woman was not a happy camper when Richard and I arrived in Blacksburg when all this started. I mean really, they had retained a lawyer, and they had a court date. They furnished the court with the hospital address Sofia was in, therefore; Sofia never received a summons. They were hoping to go to court in the beginning of March, without Sofia knowing it and her son would’ve had custody (really her, but she’s using her son). They thought they were on easy street and Sofia would’ve had to pay child support. What they didn’t count on is this, the boy’s stepmom (as a result, she can only see Zoey when Sofia and I are there because this woman has forbidden her to see Zoey) called us and told us what had happened. They didn’t count on Richard and myself to go there and retain a lawyer for Sofia. So not only did Sofia show up in court, but she had representation as well.

Her son, is the only reason she is able to have Zoey right now. She is the one communicating right now with me about Zoey. Her son doesn’t communicate with Sofia about their daughter. Sofia calls him to find out how Zoey is doing. The guardian had specifically stated for the grandmothers to stay out of it and that the parents need to communicate with each other about the child.

While there is progress being made. There are still some obstacles. We saw her lawyer on Monday before we came back home. She is going to make a case for Sofia on the fact that this woman manipulated her and Sofia should have full custody, in Chesapeake. She will try to make the argument that Sofia’s resources are so much better at home. But she is preparing us for a possible different outcome. The guardian is trying to fight for joint custody and that each parent has 3 days on, 3 days off. Sofia will have to live in Blacksburg. The reasoning is this, she chose to move there and have the baby there. It will not matter how many letters the Dr. or therapist writes explaining how she was vulnerable and immature at the time of her decision.

If Sofia has to stay in Blacksburg, I am going to try to relocate over there. In fact, I am working on that right now. Virginia Tech is there and they have jobs I may be qualified for, so I have to update my resume and apply for work there. I am just going to start sending applications and resumes to many different companies there and the surrounding areas. However, what I would really like to do is join the work at home program from the company I work for now. I am waiting to hear about that this coming week. This would be ideal, and we have until the end of May before the final hearing.

Richard and I talked about this and we are in agreement. We don’t like that arrangement, but we need to do what we have to do. Sofia is trying really hard to make improvements for herself. In hindsight, this may be what it took to get her to shape up. Our Father works in ways we wouldn’t ever think of.

Wow, long story again, and there is more, but I gave you the gist of it.

I love you all a lot!!!

Blessings,
Cathi
_________________________
Proud member of National Association Of Baby Boomer Women!
www.nabbw.com