I am learning as I read this thread.

orchid, in may ways, your mom reminds me of mine. She had tremendous potential, but chose to raise her family and stay married to the notion forever. When we were children, she was over the top happy. No doubt. But once we all carried on with our lives, I saw her as being stuck, but that was my view. I know she was sad for awhile, in her empty nest, but I also think a piece of that sadness remained with her. However, she never let us feel that our leaving home was cause for it. It just was - because she really cared most about being a stay-at-home mom.

After all of us were raised, I wanted more for her than she wanted for herself. I was always saying things like - why don't you do this, or that, or do you want to do this or that? Now I look back and think...why didn't I just mind my own business? It's what I wanted for her, but not what she wanted for herself. So then I ask myself why I wanted those things for her, and my answer is because I thought it would be something she'd enjoy, but what do we really know about others and what they want for themselves. Just because I like to try new things and venture out, doesn't mean others like the same.

And there are levels of this, I am finding. There are people who enjoy risk and adventure more than I who probably wonder why I don't try new and different things, but I have a comfort zone that I also like to stay within. An example is that I like to snorkel, but would never scuba dive. Scuba divers don't understand that.

Funny, huh?