quote:
Originally posted by Candice Johnson:
which may require a very big reliance on faith that I don't think I have
Perhaps there lies the secret - finding something inside YOU that can bring some sort of peace - some sort of "rationalization" of it all. Does there have to be a reason for it all? Perhaps it's a simple as -- life happens -- to all of us and the ones who can move on and survive it have found something within to make it bearable. Some call it faith -- some call it inner strength -- in my case I'm still looking -- but I know that I'm a survivor and that I'm not the only one going through this and bottom line -- there isn't a thing I can do about it and that gives me some sort of strange strength to keep looking forward.

I went through the emotions of loss of traditions and family get togethers yesterday with my sister (who lives many states away). I was depressed that I seemed to be the only one that wanted to feel the holiday spirit -- follow the family traditions and it was making me miss my son even more because he would have "put up with me" and tried to make me happy. Then I realized that I was looking for everyone else to make me feel "good" -- to feel that "holiday spirit". That feeling has to come from within -- no one else can make me feel that way - truly feel that way - so I'm going to decorate the house for ME and I'm busy making Christmas gifts for those I love around me for ME and I'm going to enjoy the holidays because it makes ME feel good ;-)

and so -- once again I see that life goes on and if I don't want to be RUN OVER by it -- I better get my track shoes back on ;-)

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL ;-)

[ December 17, 2002, 03:14 PM: Message edited by: lionspaaw ]