It's been several years since my dad died rather suddenly and I seem to have traveled the grief steps through to the end....acceptance. But from thanksgiving morning until new years day it seems every day is one of missing my dad terribly. There are the silly things that remind me of him, like olives. He always put olives on the table on Thanksgiving because he new I loved them. I find myself putting olives in my salad for lunch each day like somehow I can ingest my dad. And almonds....when we were little, Dad's holiday culinary contribution was to blanch almonds, pop the skins, fry them in butter and salt them. It took hours and hours and all of our fingers got pruney and sore...but oh those almonds were so good. I can't bring myself to buy them and keep the tradition alive. And of course there are the christmas carols, and throwing big handfuls of tinsel at the tree to make the kids laugh. When I wrap gifts, sometimes instead of tags I use a black magic marker and scrawl a child's name on the package like he used to. (after wrapping until 4am and a six pack!) I know many of you have lost a loved one and are still feeling that loss....how do you cope when the ache gets so bad that it nearly brings you to your knees?