SueC...I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this...but, join the club. Do you have any children?
The best person, in my opinion, to ask this question to is Hannelore. Tell me if I'm wrong, Hannelore, but didn't you feel like SueC at one time? And you did leave and it woke your husband up.
We all can't be success stories like Hannelore and others.
My heart goes out to you on this...has he gotten physically abusive with you when he gets angry? Has he cheated?
I divorced because I did not want to live the rest of my life walking on egg shells and waiting for the next bomb to drop. It just wasn't worth it.
I'm sure you loved him but love can die or be beaten down so much that it cannot recover. There's no shame in moving away from this kind of abusiveness and I support you for having the strength and good sense to get out of loveless and abusive situation. You're a woman...not a dog. You deserve respect and nurturing and love. It took me many years, most of my life really, to love myself enough to allow myself to have a decent man in my life...I guess I didn't think I was worth it and settled. That never ends well. Did you settle when you married? Were there red flags beforehand? Did his behavior change over time or was it always there?