Hannelore,
Without my grandfather, and I hardly ever talk about this, I would not have survived! I loved him like my parent and he was like my parents even though I had parents. My grandfather lived on the estate next door to ours and I spent so much time there that is was like my home. He was my parent in my heart and mind.

My parents, due to their choices in life, were not there for me. I was a "gifted child," and doing television at the age of 5. My parents did not watch me perform ONCE. They dropped me off and took off. My grandfather bought me my first pair of tights, my first microphone and would wear earphones and listen to his "shows," while I held and wailed into that microphone while dancing around his living room.

I learned most of what I knew from him and he was in his 70's so I was a "wise," little girl. He was everything to me and still is.

NEVER underestimate what a grandparent can do. Both my parents are alive and I STILL think, in times of stress of in case of decision, "What would Grandfather say?" I do it almost on every puzzlement in my life and he has been dead about 30 years!

I deeply loved/love him. I needed him and he was there at the ages you are there for your grandchild, and yes, I had parents. He was there through out my young life.

In the end, he left me a trust fund and cut out other grandchildren we were so close. ( I ended up making this my mothers as she needed care.)

Every day, almost, I 'talk," to him and feel his presense around me. He believed in some sort of afterlife and taught me this.

You are such a blessing to A. You are special, and you will see how special you are as you fret over her life my grandfather would fret over me. You will probably help her fulfil a great destiny. Older people around us and raising us, older than our parents, I mean, =) make a BIG difference in our view.

Again, Hannelore, I NEVER talk about this, but I wanted to share it with you.

Keep being yourself in this. You are doing, as my grandfather was doing as he fretted, Perfectly right!

Dancer