Lovely Lady Jane,
I agree with you, in most cases this is true, but I have an exception:
When the father of my son and I married, we were friends and it was to have a child. I was not yet pregnant and I agreed to marry him, although we were friends, so that his and my own family, would accept the child as legitimate. I was out of time, I was high risk and my doctor said to have another child soon if I wanted to survive it. We did have that child and my ex husband told me then when we were 26, that he loved me and if he every married, it would be to me.

Now our child is going on 21 in June. He is still not married again. He is still loving to me and I to him, and we are still friends. We have a lovely son we both raised, all the way, he paying child support, providing medical, and being on visitation every weekend and all holidays. He did what he said he would as did I. I never denied him access to our child and I was loving as a friend as I said in our vows, which we altered. He told me in our thirties that he would always consider me his wife and had no intentions of marrying again, he even told me he once dated a dark haired woman and almost got serious with her until he realized he was trying to replace me.

He is a professional golfer and again, a good, good man. We stay close, raise our son together and when I fell in love with my husband, my old friend, he was happy for me, but it was for him "bittersweet." It's been a lot of years now but we talked a week and a half ago about my son's spring break, still keeping our promise.

I feel that if one is honest, and if one is a "good person," then life can be easier. I only was attracted to kind men, nice men, and strong men as I was strong. I never admired the "tough guy," as my father was the classic of that type and I did not admire him.

Men can be different if we are honest with them sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes. We need to give them credit for handling the truth, and life, and not shield them from it.

This is just my opinion.

dancer, mother of two sons