Okay, it worked! Here is how we did it:
As I said, I have long dark hair and I wanted almost white high lights in it so that when my gray came in, it would blend with the highlights! It's working!

My hairdresser took pieces of my hair and bleached it out. She had to bleach it forever to take it to white because my natural color is black/brown! I was frightened of the bleach but I was a good sport.

After it was the right color, she took haircolor and did my roots. When my hair had processed, she took the tint and mixed shampoo with it and shampooed it into my hair. This made the white hair a light, light brown because the tint barely touched it. It worked and my hair was dark with very light brown pieces.

Now my hair has grown and some roots are out. She had placed the highlights where I am mostly gray so as my gray grew out, it just melded with the very light pieces in my hair! It is hardly noticeable! I used to have to color at least every four weeks. Now I have gained even a week and it does not look bad if I am late!

There you have it!

I'm about to go asymmetrical, soon, my trademark.

dancer