A little sunshine.... I've been seeing a therapist for the last several weeks. I haven't posted in a while. I wasn't too sure what to say. My first meeting, she listened and she told me that I needed to do two things - get my husband into treatment (or get him out of here) and see an attorney to protect my interests. My husband was already checking into treatment on his own so I didn't need to do that. And the attorney...? Well, California is a community property state so it wouldn't really matter because he'd get half of everything anyway, so I opted not to do that.
So now, just about 30 days later, the therapist is having me work on my self-esteem, which is interesting because I thought I had plenty but I didn't realize that it travels over into territories like setting boundaries and how you take car of your own needs, so that has been very good for me. I never realized that I don't really set boundaries. I let things happen and then I get angry and shove back (not literally though).
My husband has been out of treatment for several days and there's been a transition that is nothing short of miraculous. He said htere was a wonderful, wonderful Lutheran counselor there who he really tapped in to and felt like he got a lot of help from. This is going to sound incredibly sappy but all this time, these last few years, one of my most consistent prayers was that God would restore him to the man I saw when he first got saved, just about 20 years ago.... but I never saw quite that . This time it seems like that's what I'm seeing. He's so calm, so settled, and happy. The atmosphere here has changed from guarded and slightly chaotic to happy, still chaotic but calm and settled.
I'll continue with the therapist and we're going to a class at our church which is a small recovery based couples thing. Scott went last week but we didn't know it was for couples so I'll go this week and see. But you know me, ever hopeful and grateful that God hears me. It's a faith builder.

Kate