Love is such a funny thing, yes? Even in the best of times, I can love and hate the same person at the same time.... maybe it isn't really hate, maybe it's just deep, deep anger that comes out like hate... not sure. Love isn't constant, either. I don't think any emotion can be rock-solid, unchanging.... to me, emotions are like the pieces in a slide puzzle, and the picture changes according to which slide piece is in which position... but love's more than an emotion, it's a decision, a committment. That's why, I think, we are able to keep doing the right thing regardless of how our emotions are doing....

I have a thought... disregard it if you will... but if you are tired of playing the dutiful rehab wife, tired of repeating the cycle of visiting, etc., then by all means, Honey, take your space.

If he needs a "time out," let him revel or wallow in his isolation. Perhaps demonstrating that you have limits -- that you do not have an endless source of energy and tolerance for his rehab activities, might get the message home that he's transgressed an important personal boundary of yours... and he might begin to respect that boundary.

I mean, after all, if you give a kid a "time out" in the corner , you don't keep talking to the kid and offering him juice and hugs and cookies.... you isolate him to reinforce the boundary issue. If you don't isolate the kid to show him that his behavior is unacceptable, he's going to keep on believing that it's OK to do it, because there are no negative consequences. Not to himself, anyway.

Just a thought. I wish you the best, and I hope YOUR wishes come true, and YOUR needs get fullfilled.
Hugs,
Lil