I wish there was a magic bullet for this conversation. I was married to an alcoholic for 11 years and my younger son took his first drink at 8. I didn't know it at the time. His addiction really began to bloom in junior high and escalated most of his teen years. He was in and out of jail, rehab, etc. He's been clean and sober with one slip for a year now. He's still got legal issues because addiction is difficult.

If your kids have one or more addictive parent, they are going to be more prone to addiction of some sort or another. They have found the gene, I believe. Teens also think they can conquer everything, as someone mentioned. They haven't quite figured out that they can die.

My son was "different" and he used drugs to hide the pain. I also found out this last year that he had been abused as a little boy by a neighbor. Big pain. Big addiction.

I made it through by always loving him, but always setting boundaries. Frankly, there were times I counted the days until he turned 18. But he always had to face his consequences. I learned not to rescue. So letting your kids know up front what your consequences are if they drug/drink, and yet providing them with lots of love and support for other activities, seems to me to be the best way to go.

Stephy, your aunt didn't have to sell her house. She chose to sell her house. There's a difference. In one case your aunt is the victim. In another she has the power of choice. We all have that power.

Sorry for the long-windedness. It's a hot button! :-))