Gimster,
We cannot sell the truck. It's part of LW's bankruptcy and has to be approved for sale and amount by the courts.
This is our stance on the truck issue: His problem. He fixes it. Period.
As for his spending habits: His problem. He fixes it.
Period.
I was taught in this life that there are choices we make and consequences to those choices. LW is making choices knowing they are the wrong ones. I don't think he needs us to buy his truck and pay his bills for him...I think he needs a swift kick in the keester and to grow the heck up. And he needs counseling to find out why he's using money as a crutch for what's really going on in side him.
I'm still an advocate for tough love and here's why.
Just before Larry and I got married his daughter came to us wanting money (she has the same spending problem her brother has). She was about to be thrown out of her apartment and her mother (Larry's ex) was screaming Larry owed his daughter money. Evidently, Larry's daughter had been living with him for a period of time when he was married the 2nd time and because his daughter could not save, he was putting money back for her. He'd saved for her about $1200. The woman Larry was married to at the time took the money and left IOU's in Larry's name at which Larry felt responsible. Needless to say Larry divorced that woman and never saw a dime of the money she'd taken from Larry's daughter. I personally pulled out $1200 from my account and we paid 3 months rent for his daughter and the rest went for groveries. The ONLY reason I did that was to get Larry's nasty ex off Larry's back...looking back it was a dumb move, but hind site.... Anyway, has his daughter learned her lesson? No. We counseler her and offered to get her a professional advisor...Did she? No. Has she? No. Will she? No. Where is she now? Living in a one-room apartment. Her mom? Moved in with her because she can't handle money, either. LW's next in line if he doesn't change.
So, even when you do the right thing in helping someone, it still comes down to them doing the right thing.
I stand by tough love...in my experience it has worked over giving a handout.
I'm not all mean and staunch. If any of our grown children were having problems at no-fault of their, we would be the first ones to help them...but, LW (almost 27) and Danielle (almost 31) don't care to save or plan anything except for what can they buy next.