i think going overboard in either direction is not a good choice. middle ground seems to be good ground as long as it is consistent. if i was completely for or against anything it seemed to make my kids go whole hog for it. if i remained neutral, consistent, involved, willing to listen, learn, keep them away from danger, report anything outrageous when i felt it necessary, not compromise my morals, beliefs, or theirs, explain moderation, abuse, addiction and the horrors of all of it including my own experiences, help their fiends when need be, or my own when need be, never knowingly allow illegal drugs in my home, always let them and their friends know they can call you for a ride home from anywhere NO QUESTIONS ASKED if some is unable to drive because of being under the influence of something, go with your motherly instinct on things and you will be fine... most of all,,, if you think they have been drinking the night before ..WAKE THEM UP TO A BREAKFAST OF HALF COOKED BACON AND SAUSAGE AND RUNNY SCRAMBLED EGGS AND MAKE THEM EAT IT!!